Signs of toxic relationship cannot be ignored. You must be very watchful if you see these signs in your relationship. High school doesn’t offer a course on how to behave properly with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, we learn about the biology of sex and the legal ramifications of marriage. Perhaps we read a few esoteric love tales from the 19th century that teach us how to behave properly.
We’re basically left with trial and error, and if you’re like most people, it ends up being primarily error in the absence of clear concepts from grownups.
As we bumble through the already complicated dating environment, a succession of toxic relationships starts to emerge.
One of the issues is that our culture is ingrained with many toxic relationship behaviors. We revere passionate love, the crazy sort that finds it adorable when its partner sobs uncontrollably and breaks porcelain plates on the wall. We also mock pragmatism and unusual sexualities.
Men and women are encouraged to objectify one another and their love relationships. As a result, we frequently view our partners as accomplishments or trophies rather than as people with whom we can share emotional support.
Signs Of Toxic Relationship #1 – You Don’t Feel Safe
I don’t mean physically, either (although that would apply too). I’m referring to a feeling of emotional security. Can you communicate your ideas and thoughts to this individual in an open manner? Does it matter what you say? Scared of what they may do or say if you were brutally honest, do you feel like you’re always censoring yourself?
People may both be flawed and responsible in a healthy relationship. You may be honest with one another about the wonderful and terrible things that have happened to you as well as who has harmed you. You may be truly loved while also being fully seen.
Let’s be clear: You typically wouldn’t open up to your in-laws about your most painful experiences like you might to a close friend. Various levels of safety exist based on the connection. Understanding the complexity and variations of each connection requires insight.
Signs Of Toxic Relationship #2 – You Have Bad (Or Non-existent) Communication
Every relationship depends on effective communication, yet it’s simple to go off course unintentionally. Because I was hesitant to voice my wants and wishes, my wife and I have experienced toxic times. I would desire and make assumptions, and when my expectations weren’t met, I would condemn her, be really disappointed, and develop resentment. We weren’t able to communicate until I opened up.
And make no mistake, being truthful doesn’t guarantee that things will turn out fine. It probably indicates that something unpleasant or painful will happen. That is typical. However, hiding your demands and aches from yourself just breeds bitterness.
Our fight, flight, or freeze reaction frequently gets activated during an emotionally intense interaction. Either you explode and confront the threat head-on or shut down and maintain a chilly stillness.
Gaslighting, word manipulation, dishonesty, and passing judgment on someone’s remarks without seeking an explanation are other instances of dysfunctional communication.
Signs Of Toxic Relationship #3 – Controlling Behavior
Your partner does not have the authority to dictate your behavior or worldview. Threatening loss of anything, like money, time with your kids, or friendship, is one controlling the habit of watching out for.
Many individuals are terrified by these threats, and I find that this is why a large number of people continue in toxic, unpleasant relationships despite wanting them to stop.
Among other indications of controlling behavior are:
- Telling you what’s right
- Threats to expose you
- knowing everything you do and everyone you interact with
- Trying to manage your finances
- Keeping you apart from loved ones or being there all the time while you are among others
- pretending you have no idea what you’re talking about
- requesting access to your personal accounts or devices, such as your phone or email
Signs Of Toxic Relationship #4 – Frequent Lying
No matter how tiny, lies gradually damage credibility.
If your partner lies to you, it shows they don’t see you as a trustworthy and caring companion.
Lying to your partner shows that you are only loyal to yourself and are not committed to the relationship.
Signs Of Toxic Relationship #5 – You Feel Drained
Consider the last time you took care of yourself, connected with a loved one in some way, or had a good night’s sleep.
Examining how your relationships with others and with yourself have changed might be useful. Self-care and self-prioritization are frequently overlooked. In unhealthy relationships, the other person is frequently the focus of time and mental energy, either directly or through the ripple effect of constant conflict and turmoil.
See how your spouse responds if you try to redirect some of your efforts into taking care of yourself. If they provide a negative response, the connection has poisonous characteristics.
Final Thought
Again, mending a toxic relationship is not an easy task, but most worthwhile endeavors in life are not. If you both want to work on it, it will be worth the effort, the difficult talks, and, yes, even the suffering. You may decide to quit the relationship at some time, and that’s good.
I’ve got the perfect solution for you if you’re prepared to accept the discomfort and transform your poisonous relationship into a healthy one. As a relationship coach, I explore in great detail what causes toxic dynamics in relationships and how to escape them. You’ll receive activities and courses that you may do with your significant other. Look into it.