Signs of healthy communication are essential to know whether you have a good relationship with your partner or not. Any relationship requires communication. It’s how we discover connection and love in our relationships; nevertheless, developing a relationship with open and active communication channels isn’t always simple. Good communication necessitates the cultivation of an atmosphere of trust and compassion.
We’ve all heard the adage that “Good communication is the key to a good relationship,” and it’s not just a platitude; according to a 2013 poll, poor communication is one of the leading causes of divorce. But what exactly does “communicating well” entail? How do you get through an argument without throwing things? Constantly making concessions? Never raising your voices at each other and avoiding fights? The psychology of excellent communication, it turns out, portrays it as an active and skilled activity. We do not emerge from the womb knowing how to appropriately deal with another person’s feelings and beliefs; we must learn — frequently in collaboration with our partners.
Signs Of Healthy Communication # 1 – You Practise Active Listening
You may not realize you’re doing it, but you’ll notice if your spouse doesn’t. Active listening is a collection of techniques that convey to the speaker that you are interested in what they are saying, ranging from vocal cues (“yeah, uh-huh, I hear you”) to physical displays of interest and undivided concentration.
Active listeners do not cross their arms or look away from the speaker. They also do not avert eye contact, check their phones, or display “dismissal indicators” such as eye-rolling or puffing. Other symptoms of active listening include summarising your partner’s thoughts back to them and double-checking your interpretation.
Signs Of Healthy Communication # 2 – You Separate The Issue From The Person
The inability to differentiate between an issue and a person is one of the most telling symptoms of poor communicating patterns in a relationship, according to Psychology Today.
When you and your spouse disagree, you basically blame your partner personally rather than the specific behavior, problem, or remark you disagree with. You may say things like, “You’re a really considerate person, but calling my mother an idiot wasn’t very thoughtful,” instead of “You are an a**hole because you forgot to cut the carrots.”
Good communicators can communicate disappointment, wrath, and other unpleasant feelings about individual incidents without generalizing into a character’s overall condemnation.
Signs Of Healthy Communication # 3 – You Can Use “I” Statements Rather Than “You” Statements
In terms of communication, the difference between a phrase like “You’ve done something wrong” and “I feel wounded by what you did” is rather significant.
In psychology, this is known as the dichotomy between “I” and “you” statements: “you” comments are accusatory, accusing, and attacking, whereas “I” statements are about addressing how you feel.
When trying to resolve a problem, “I” comments convey a sense of vulnerability, of opening ourselves up to our partners, and are referred to as “you” remarks.
Signs Of Healthy Communication # 4 -You Look For Method Of Communication That Works For Both Of You
There are several ways to understand and characterize various communication styles. According to Forbes, one way that is particularly popular in business circles is categorizing communication styles into four categories: analytical, intuitive, functional, and personal. Even if you don’t stick to exact definitions, it’s simple to recognize that people have varied approaches to discussing and understanding topics, ranging from sensitivity to specific terms to an emphasis on facts and reasoning.
If you’re talking successfully, you’re aware of these peculiarities and strive to develop a “common language” in which you can both achieve what you want. If you’re in a relationship with someone who has difficulty dealing with critical comments, you’ll have to figure out ways to discuss concerns without provoking those sentiments. “Constantly talking is necessarily not communicating.”
Signs Of Healthy Communication # 5 -You Avoid Passive Aggression
Passive aggressiveness, which the Counselling Directory defines as “nonverbal hostility shown in negative conduct,” from speech to body language, can have a variety of causes. Perhaps the person believes that they should not “make a fuss” but still wishes to express their feelings; maybe they think that their partner should be able to work out the problem without outside assistance, or perhaps they find it difficult to express their anger or frustration in a healthy way.
Whatever the scenario, passive hostility is a huge impediment to healthy communication because it limits the adequate expression of sentiments and produces an uncertain environment that resists resolution. Partners who shun passive-aggressiveness like the plague, even when the desire to say “I’M FINE” is intense, are on to something.
Be kind to yourself and your partner as you navigate the often unfamiliar landscape of effective communication. Continue to work hard, be alert, and do your best one day at a time. Your practice will soon pay off by bringing you and your partner closer than before.
If you can’t seem to improve communication in your relationship, go to a relationship therapist. Counselors are educated to identify problematic patterns in a couple’s touch, assist in changing such practices, and provide solutions, recommendations, and a safe space to discuss difficulties. You may also contact me, and we can work together to resolve all relationship concerns.